How a Midday Rest Turned Into a Much Deeper Question After All
I was just lying here on the couch, resting midday during the week, and thought to myself what a luxury this little moment is. How odd, how unconventional, and how absolutely awesome.
It struck me that this was the one thing I absolutely needed at this exact moment. Being away from home lets you rethink certain routines and rebuild habits - because let’s be honest, habits and routines are anchored in more ways than just the action. It’s about the context and the place. And when you change one parameter, you have to adjust the whole.
(For example, the matcha here is just not the same as at home - and on that note, I had to be honest with myself that I actually don’t even like it enough to keep it and have to look for alternatives ;) )
This got me thinking. I know I always praise the importance of having aligned habits and mindful routines that act as energy gainers rather than drainers, but in the end, it’s still a routine. And a routine implies a bit of an “auto-running” mode.
Routines aren’t bad; not at all. As human beings, we crave habituality, and one of our greatest strengths is how quickly we adapt to find that comfort in almost anything. But aren’t we maybe, eventually, sometimes unconsciously hiding in those routines?
Routines are predictable.
Predictability is safe.
Safety is comfortable.
But it lacks diversity, curiosity, and playfulness. These traits are what make up an enriched life.
Maybe you stick to the routine because it’s truly energy-gaining and serves you well. But maybe, at some point, you also got stuck in it—you’re hiding behind it.
I certainly did. I built routines that were convenient for my labels, my diagnosis, and my chosen “softness.” I told myself I was just an introvert who needed it. Then, with the AuDHD diagnosis and while recovering from burnout, I started to cushion myself. At first, it was definitely needed. It was the best way to protect myself. But cushioning yourself to the point where you don’t let any feeling through is basically caging yourself in.
It’s hiding from life.
I had to ask myself a hard question:
What am I gaining from this? What is this actually protecting me from?
It kept me safe, and worry-free, and small.
But it also dulled the colors of life.
In the end, the question isn’t whether you are “this” or “that.”
In the end, the question is whether your habits and routines are still what you need.
In the end, the question is whether you’re using your routines, your labels, and your “told-myselfs” as a protective shield against a life you’re too afraid to actually live.
