The Surreal In-Between Of A Mental Health Diagnosis - And What To Do With It
My wonderful, lovely soul
First of all, let me give you a virtual hug, and let me assure you - you are NOT alone!
When I wrote this post a few months ago, I was exactly there - in this middle ground, floating in the air, waiting for the hopeful knowing. This was written at a vulnerable stage, at a place where I hoped so much to finally get answers... and I want to share it with you, the exact same piece, not adapted to my knowledge right now, but telling you exactly how I felt at that moment.
Waiting for a mental health diagnosis (in my case, AuDHD)... Suspecting. Finally identifying with something. Hopeful to get an answer. And being anxious that it might be a “no” - and the quest for answers is continuing.
At that time I found plenty of advice pages for when you finally know - BUT NONE THAT HELPED YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO HANDLE THIS IN-BETWEEN STAGE, WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW YET.
Which is so sad, because I feel this is one of our most vulnerable moments. And one where we likely feel alone, because you don’t allow yourself yet to talk about it - because, what if it’s not it?
So this is for all my loves that experience this stage, and for all the lovely souls that maybe know someone in such a place and seek some perspective and helpful advice.
First, I wanted to make it paid, because it’s so personal, so vulnerable. But as I am writing this introduction, I feel that this piece is so much needed - because I would have needed it at that time, I was searching for it - so I will make it accessible to all of you. Please treat it with love and grace. Now, let’s get into this writing piece.
I always felt a bit different, a bit like I just don’t fit in. Trying to integrate, to play along, but somehow always hitting a wall. And it’s not that we’re not trying, or that we don’t want to. It just feels... kinda out of reach.
Now we’re finally at the stage where we might get an explanation for all of it. We’re in the assessment phase. But it’s a bittersweet feeling. A wave of relief mixed with uncertainty. What if it’s found to be true? What if it’s not?
I don’t know about you, but for me, the possibility that they might not confirm the suspected diagnosis leaves me feeling even more insecure. And then all the questions start flooding in: Should I already tell close ones about the diagnostic process? What will happen afterwards? And again - what if it’s not?
After the first wave of struggles, I found some small but powerful practices that help me stay calm and centered, even when the world feels loud and confusing. Maybe a few of them will help you navigate this part of your journey, too.
1. Be proud that you had the courage to embark on this journey
This is a big step - not to be underestimated. It’s an emotional, exhausting ride, but you did it. You decided to take action, to take control, and to take the risk. That’s something to be truly proud of.
2. Acknowledge that no matter the outcome, it is good to know
Knowledge brings clarity. It may not bring easy answers, but it’s always better than the quiet, endless uncertainty. Even if the diagnosis isn’t confirmed, you’ll still know more than before. You’ll be better equipped to decide whether to dig deeper or take a different path. And no matter what, you’re the one in power.
3. Inform yourself
No matter what mental condition you’re being assessed for, inform yourself. Read up on it, learn about the assessment process, and ask your questions - yes, all of them. Talk to your doctor. The more you know, the more anchored you’ll feel. Understanding what might come won’t remove the emotions, but it helps soften the edge of surprise.
4. Plan for either outcome
Think about the next steps from your perspective - not the medical one (that’s your doctor’s job). If it’s confirmed, what matters to you? Do you want to share the news with loved ones? Will you need some space to reflect? Maybe even take a few days off?
But also prepare for a “no”. Would you want to explore further? How certain do you feel deep down? Will you seek a second opinion? Is a diagnosis something you need to feel validated?
5. Have a supporter
It can be your partner, your best friend, a sibling, a therapist, a pastor... It doesn’t matter who, as long as it’s someone you trust to hold space for you - someone who’s supportive no matter what. Don’t walk this alone.
6. Journal
I never had a consistent journaling practice before, but since I started this journey, I’ve been writing more regularly. And honestly? It helps so much. Just getting the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions out of your head can feel like a deep breath.
It also helps when talking to your supporter - when things are written down, they become easier to understand and explain. Without it, it can feel like a mess that’s hard to put into words. Journaling gently untangles it.
From my heart, I hope these tips bring you a little more peace and love as you move through this process. Please know that you are not alone in how you feel. And never, ever forget to be kind to yourself - and to love yourself as you are.
No diagnosis is needed to validate your worth.
Take care, my lovely soul.
Love,
Lexie.
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