How to Build Your Dreams Without the Hustle
One of the most cruel things you can do to your dreams is drowning them in the “but what ifs.” This is how dreams die and you stick to the most obvious path laid out in front of you. And ultimately, this is how you dull out life and stick to autopilot.
But, as you might have noticed, here we’re all but on autopilot. Here, we get OFF autopilot. We shape our lives intentionally, building our dreams while still enjoying the ride.
There has been a revelation to me this week, and I don’t want to keep it from you. It’s all about how to reshape your mindset from the "but what ifs" and encouraging yourself to dream - and to go about those dreams without the hustle, without the pressure, and without the anticipated disappointment if it doesn’t work out.
You don’t have to move on just one path
We’re told that you can’t have everything at once. You can do anything, but not everything. While this might be true, you sure can build two things simultaneously. Go for that management career, while crafting your instrumental skills in the evenings. Become a scientist, while you write your books in your spare time. Chase the 9-5, while studying arts on the side.
The beauty of our time is that you can do most things part-time. Especially these types of things, which are more like “dreams.” This doesn’t mean you can’t go for it. You can sure build your safety net, even enjoy this, while also doing the other path on the side.
And I will let you in on a secret: by doing so, you start to thrive in other areas of your life. If the 9-5 has been draining, when you start working on your dream on the side, it fuels you up in a way that bingeing Netflix just doesn’t. You will light a fire within yourself, and you will carry these sparks throughout your day.
The most important skill is that you use your time intentionally. Don’t fall trap to doomscrolling, series bingeing - the unintentional time traps. First of all, they take a real toll on your mental health. When your 9-5 is already draining, and this weighs on top of it, it’s accumulating. But if you work on your dreams - this can also get addictive.
I’ve written once about the momentum theory, and this will go up in the essay section soon (make sure to subscribe if you don’t want to miss it), but the essence of it is: whatever you do, it will become easier. You will create momentum. So make sure whatever you want to create momentum on, it’s the right thing.
Don’t share your dreams when you’re not ready yet
Having dreams that are out-of-the-box can make you feel vulnerable around people who are very happy and content in their box life (and there's nothing wrong with that). They will likely question your dreams, especially when they feel that you're not yet that confident in them.
So there’s really no shame in not sharing whatever you’re working on right away. Just tell the ones you know will have your back no matter what. You will gain confidence along the way, and you will feel when you’re ready to share. Sometimes it’s easier to prove to yourself first that this dream is actually something you really want to go for, before you prove it to others. It will also give you another sense of safety, having your “normal” day life while you step into your dream on the side. If you’ve ever heard of the power of an alter ego - it sort of is like that.
Think about how you’d react if someone else went after that dream
We always expect the worst reactions from others. These are likely rooted in your own doubts, because you can’t imagine a reaction if there's not some sort of belief in yourself. If you don’t have it in you, you would not get hurt by these things.
So first of all, identify your own limiting self-beliefs. And then, imagine how you’d react if someone told you they were going to go for exactly what you’d love to do. You will realize that it’s anything but a negative reaction.
When I finally told my family that I wanted to build my own business - after having kept this to myself for a longer time, doing my research and building a plan - they reacted in the best way possible (after they asked questions and made sure I knew what I was getting into). They were proud of me that I’ve got the courage to go after that, and some even admitted that they had also thought about it but just never took the leap.
Realize that the worst thing is not trying at all
I started my business in the beginning of this year, and luckily found my first long-term client soon after. While this is somewhat the best-case scenario, I’ve got no illusions that this means I've made it. This is a long-term game.
But what I realized is that I’m just so happy that I at least tried. I’ve dreamed about being my own boss and having my own business for such a long time, and I live that experience now. The biggest revelation was that I would not be that devastated if it doesn’t work out in the end. Not that I wouldn’t be sad, but nobody can take this experience from me. Really, it’s true what everyone says - the worst thing is not trying at all.
I hope I could encourage you to allow yourself to dream, and to work for it in a way that does not lead to pressure and anxiety, but is playful and inspiring. And really, stop thinking about the “but what ifs,” and start asking yourself, “well, what if not?”
Life is a ride meant to be enjoyed. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, there’s just your way to do it.
Love,
Lexie
