Break Free of Doomscrolling and Get Your Time - aka Your Life - Back

Written By Alexandra Kellenberger

Everyone knows about it, and most of us are guilty of it: doomscrolling.

While we like to pretend that it’s “just a bad habit”, it’s likely more:
a toxic relationship.

Yes, you’re in a toxic relationship with your phone.

And science agrees with me here: doomscrolling is tightly linked to anxiety, depression, and poorer life satisfaction.

The worst part about it: this becomes a vicious cycle.

Studies show that doomscrolling is driven by our desire for control over uncertainty, and reinforced by our tendency to get stuck in bad habit patterns.

This gets amplified by the wonderful social media algorithms that are designed to keep feeding you more of what makes you spiral.

The result?

Constant psychological distress, troubles regulating our emotions, and a general negative impact in our mental well-being.

I’m honest with you: I’ve been there, too.

I tried, and failed, many times to break free of this bad habit - I mean, toxic relationship.

But last year, I figured it out.

And let me be clear: I did not break up with my phone.
We are doing pretty well now, actually.

Before we get into it, imagine this:

All the free time you will get when you don’t constantly hang out with your phone.
All the free time you can now use for something more meaningful, something that fuels you up.

It is even reported from people that happened to be like us, but finally broke out of the doomscrolling cycle, that they experienced improvements in mood and emotional resilience day-to-day.

Now, you won’t be asked to get rid of your phone entirely, delete all apps and become an anti-social human living in a cave. The digital age definitely has its perks, and we should use it to our advantage.

But we have to retrain our brain how and when we use our phone.
We have to set healthy boundaries to have a good relationship with our phone.

Now let me ask you: Do you also want to get your time back? And really, your life?

If yes, let me show you how.

Spoiler alert: point 1 and 4 are dealbreakers.

1. No phone first thing in the morning

I know, you probably heard this advice over and over again.

And you know why? Because it works.

This tiny little habit change has a ripple effect throughout your whole day.

It was actually the first thing that made me rethink my relationship with my phone. I tried this tip, and recognizing this urge to reach that **** phone in the morning really shocked me.

Now, to back this up even further:

Studies show that when people break that habit of reaching for the phone right after waking, it sets a more intentional tone for the whole day. They experienced less reactivity, more focus, and less psychological distress piling up during the day.

Think of this like the capacity of a glass: when it fills up slower, you have more capacity tolerating stress.

Now, my next question to you:

How much time do you give your phone usually in the morning?
And now, with this freed up time, how would you like to spend this time, actually?

And I’m not talking about pushing through all the 10 or so steps of whatever version of that ideal morning routine.

I’m talking about how YOU truly want to spend this time. And be honest.

Is it sleeping? Having coffee in the backyard or on the couch? Stretching?

I typically spend my 20 minutes in the morning this way:

  • 5 minutes cuddling my love

  • 5 minutes meditation

  • 10 minutes reading

For this, I favorably stay in bed - my safe space.

But I will add though that I might change up these things based on my mood, my energy levels, how the weather is outside (because maybe I would rather go for a longer walk with my dog on a sunny day, and bring my matcha latte along with me).

Now, to make it easier to break this morning habit of reaching the phone first, I recommend you to place it somewhere non-visible and non-reachable. Put it into a drawer. Into the key box.

If you need it as an alarm clock, I truly recommend to invest in a dedicated alarm clock. Or use your smart watch.

If you really can’t go without the phone, turn off the internet connection and put it on gray-mode.

Now, if you can’t decide on what habit to pick for the morning, I’d recommend to implement some reading. This one habit had a very surprising and beneficial side effect to me: it started a positive momentum.

Usually I was so invested into whatever I was reading that I was less likely to grab the phone and instead pick up the book throughout the day.

Noticing this, I implemented something more: I started bringing my e-reader along with me wherever I went.

So instead of grabbing the phone whenever I was waiting somewhere for something (think bus stop, waiting offices), I pulled out the e-reader instead of the phone.

Instead of getting consumed by the phone, I got inspired or educated by a book.

2. Make social media unattractive

What I mean by this: make it cumbersome to check.

And really, adding friction works.

When you need more time to open an app, you give your brain a much needed pause to rethink whether you really want to check social media in that particular moment.

This is supported by science: it has been shown that a short pause gives just enough space to instead opt for healthier choices, and over time reduces compulsive behavior - in our case, that reflexive urge to grab the phone whenever your not entertained.

How do you make it more cumbersome?

You could of course delete all accounts, but in my humble opinion, this is too radical, and eventually you still want to get back to these apps at a point.

So, a balanced approach might be more suitable.

You could, for example, delete the apps from your phone and only access them from your desktop.

However, I have to mention that some social media apps make it really difficult to post anything from your desktop, and discovering new exciting profiles that actually benefit you is also a hurdle. But if you don’t mind that, this is an excellent way to make it cumbersome.

A different approach, and the one I chose for myself, is to delete the apps from your homescreen.

The time you spend scrolling through all your apps to find the one you want to access is usually just enough to be that much needed “pause” for your brain. This pause to reevaluate whether you really want to give this app your valuable lifetime right now.

And another sidenote: turn off all your notifications.

This is one of the biggest triggers for stress and mental overload. Your constantly filling up that glass and reduce the capacity that is left for the rest of your day.

And, my tough love portion here for you: you won’t die if you don’t get updated all the time.

In the end, you have to make a choice:

You either miss out on the recent online updates – which are most likely not even real-time and accessible at least all day.
Or you miss out on real life moments – which you won’t get back.

So, what is it for you?

3. Screen-timeblocking

I’m an avid lover for planning, yes, but hear me out. This point is valid.

Scheduling your time for scrolling and checking social media can work wonders, especially in the beginning phase where we have to break our habits.

Make it intentional.

See it as a date with your phone.

You could, for example, schedule 30 minutes after you come home from work to sit down with your favourite hot drink and really enjoy this time getting up-to-date.

A quick tip for when you tend to overextend your scheduled time:
take advantage of your phone’s wellbeing tools. Set a time limit for these apps, so they get blocked when you hit that.

Make your phone work for you, not against you.

Another important note is to not schedule this time right before sleeping.
Blue light disturbs your sleeping schedule, but it is likely even more serious than you’re aware of it. Studies have shown that bedtime screen use is associated with later sleep onset, shorter sleep, and poorer sleep quality. It can result in a 33% higher chance of poor sleep quality.

And it’s not a secret that poor sleep affects both our physical and mental health.

4. Target the cause, not only the symptoms

If we only treat the symptom — the compulsive behaviour of grabbing the phone — it’s likely to flare up again from time to time.

To have a long-lasting effect, we want to make sure that we understand the root cause.

Because doomscrolling is often just an autopilot coping strategy - and not a good one, as we already discussed.

So we have to find different, better, strategies.

And these depend on the root cause.

So ask yourself right now, or anytime you mindlessly grab the phone:
why are you reaching for it?

It’s most likely one of the following: you’re bored, tired, or overwhelmed.

Depending on your answer, your preferred strategy might differ.

When you’re bored or tired:

Find other activities to fill your time with and fuel you up. Keep in mind that not every activity needs to be productive - especially when we are tired.

We often grab the phone when we’re tired because we lack the energy to do something productive, so we start to scroll just until we’re ready again, and we fall into a guilt-spiral because it actually just depletes our energy reserves even more.

We forgot that we can do activities just out of pure joy.

So make sure to find things that you can do to fill your cup - or in our case, empty the glass.

When you’re overwhelmed:

Make yourself clear that grabbing the phone is just delaying the process and you’re piling up the stress.

Instead, stop.
Take a deep breath.
Get clear on what is triggering that overwhelm.
Get these thoughts out of your head (go for a walk, journal, talk into your notes app).

Most importantly: don’t distract your brain.

Let your brain process.

5. Your bucketlist is here to live it

I’m going to repeat myself:

Imagine all the free time you get when you finally stop spending all your lifetime with your phone.

What skill have you always wanted to learn but never had the time for?
How did you picture your leisure time — yet when you finally put the phone away, all you wanted was sleep?

Because what you’ve really achieved is this:

You’re no longer living for your phone, but for yourself.

Now, go and fill your life with all the amazing stuff that was always just there sitting on your bucket list, waiting for you to be ready.

My friend, thank you so much for reading until the end.

I hope you found value in here, and maybe it was even that turning point for you to reclaim your time. Because before we can fill our life with the things we truly want, we first have to make space and time for them.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this, so leave a comment or hit reply.

If these conversations hit home, make sure to subscribe to get access to the weekly episodes and the occasional Letters of Lexie.

Know that you’re not alone - we’re getting off autopilot together, building the intentional life our way, true to us.

Lots of love to you, my friend

Lexie.

Enjoyed this post?
This is part of my written journey to help you slow down and live with more clarity and intention.

Continue the journey:
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Alexandra Kellenberger
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